RESPONSIBILITY

In spiritual work there is a principle that we are totally responsible. That is we are the cause and the effect of everything. This principle is true but often or nearly always misunderstood. The confusion lies between different levels. I will refer to two of them: the Ultimate and the Conventional (for the sake of simplicity). For example, at an Ultimate level, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me and to everyone else. At a Conventional level, this is ridiculous. Yet even at a conventional level, we often feel better when we accept personal responsibility and take not of what we have done that might have caused the incident.
On other occasions, we sometimes feel better when we are told that things are not our fault. This is often true early on in our upset. But the truth is that if we deny our responsibility we weaken ourselves and reduce our enjoyment and pleasure in life. There are grave dangers in the principle of total responsibility when it applied to Conventional life. It could lead us to believe that we are guilty but no one else is. This also invalidates the other person or the other people.
If I claim total responsibility for the holocaust, then I invalidate people like Hitler who have more right to be the cause of it! At a social level, it is important to apportion blame and responsibility to malefactors and to seek to stop them doing bad things. Enough of silly wild examples! But please note how this relates to responsibility. At a conventional level, it might be true to say that we might not be responsible for what others do, but we are responsible for our reactions and responses to what happens to us.
We are responsible for feeling bad, mad, sad, or however. We are also responsible for feeling good too! One of the greatest affirmations is: 'I am responsible for ...' and you can finish it with whatever you like. Such as 'my life'. Sometimes it is better to be more specific and say 'my job', or 'what happened yesterday'. Note we are not responsible for what others or things do. But we are unquestionably responsible for our reactions to these things. Also responsibility does not mean blame. Responsibility also means that it is up to us, and no other people or things, to do something about our situation. This means we deal with our feelings or we do things that make things more in keeping with our goals. A victim mentality is one where we wait for the cavalry to rescue us (and they never do). Or if they do, it only proves how weak and helpless we are.
The teaching on responsibility can be misused to make people feel, strangely not-responsible. It can be used to make people feel bad. Sometimes we figure and figure to try to work out how we could be responsible. And often, Conventionally, we aren't responsible for more than our feelings and our actions. Because bad things happen doesn't mean we are bad people. Bad things do happen to good people. It means, Conventionally, that we have opportunities to improve our understanding. It doesn't, of course, help to tell someone this at the time of intense upset. It sometimes helps to be reminded of the Conventional truth that they are not to blame. It is not their fault.
Yet even in Conventional life we have at some time to reclaim our responsibility and be the cause of our lives. "When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone"

-JePP-
MoIS, MY.