Monday, June 23, 2008


It is said that, 'You can't change the world but you can always change yourself.' So, if you and I start to change, then we have already begun changing the world. Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. I've learned that life is like hour glass sand. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patience and wait for something to turn everything back around. I've also learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up; it simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.

Love is the greatest feeling we will ever have, yet it is also one of the greatest sorrows. There is so much suffering, but then there are times when the crying, pain, and heartache is worth it. Those moments are perfect, they are right. Those moments make all the suffering worth while. It's those moments we should live for. Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fail in order to know, Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears and sometimes our trusting hand that guides us through life won't always be there, and that's the time when you really grow up and face life for the first time. But that hand will always be close by.

Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever. Just keep the faith and let love lead the way. Everything will work out right if you let love lead the way.

Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along. After a while I learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and I learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and I begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and I begin to accept my defeats with my head up and my eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

I learn to build all my roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while I learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And I learn that I really can endure... that I'm really strong, and really do have worth.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the strength to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

My Sweet Room

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Love and Insanity

Within the few months of my being hooked-up with a certain text room, one of the many things that I have learned is the parallelism of Love and Insanity. I came to realize that these two words are somewhat synonymous. This is manifested by the countless stories of experiences documented by different individuals there in that website. Love life with a plot a la telenovela, with a complete casting from supporting actors to the usual protagonists and antagonists - peers, parents or classmates to name a few. What do I see? I see insanity in a broad daylight. Love life recycled from one generation to the next. Insanity inherited by yet another group of people in the same environment at a different time. I find it insane considering that our way of life has indeed made a giant leap into what we call the future and yet the same old pains, troubles or problems haunt people's love life.
Define Love. Love is this. Love is that. Love is here. Love is there. There isn't a single definition for love. Worst is, one definition conflicts with the other. No, conflict is an understatement, contradict would have been better. In binary, a "1" is never a "0" and vice versa. Treating one as the other is insanity. Love bringing either happiness or sorrow, or sometimes both, is insanity. Does insanity define love? Or, is insanity love, in a negative form?
Let us get back to my previous example. That is an analogy illustrating insanity. Now, let's take love. We know that our love will get to nowhere but we take the risk of gambling with love. The result is we get hurt. And that is insanity. Foreseeing darkness ahead but still taking the courage to step into the dark. The result is disaster. In real life, it's like you know that he's married but what the hell! And that is love. Or, you can feel she cares for somebody but still you convince yourself that she loves you, because you love her. And again, that is love. And what about this latest crap? When you love someone you gave that someone the opportunity to hurt you. Isn't that insanity to the max or just plain masochism?
Do I speak justly then when I say that those who love are insane? Would you still love?
I assume that our answer to both questions is a unanimous "Yes!" with a capital Y and an exclamation point choreographed with a clenched fist and an authoritative facial expression to stress our certainty, unaware that we are already despising the word "logic". And again, that clearly manifests insanity.
We are used to saying the phrase "falling in love" to mean "being in love". Isn't it "to fall" connotes a negative meaning? Isn't it insanity then that we allow ourselves to "fall" in love? But wait, others say, "high with love", to mean addicted with love. Just the same, and addiction is even worse. To let our selves get "high" with love is again an act of insanity. To fall is to go down contradicting the word high. With these two contradicting results associated with love, setting love in front of a well-polished mirror, love vividly reflects insanity.
But despite this shocking analogy, I would still say, "If to love is to be insane, please, take all my sanity away." It is with pride that I'll shout to the world, "Call me insane because I am in love!"

"There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen"


Thursday, June 12, 2008


When you set out to make your dreams come true, does something stop you? Are you energized, motivated, enthusiastic, pleased and inspired right now? If not, don't settle, go for your dreams!
We may think we are committed to our goals and dreams but if they are not where we want them to be it's because we are giving up, somewhere along the line. We may justify giving up by saying it's too hard or I don't like aspects of it. Or that people or circumstances are in the way, but the truth is... when we give in, we are taking the easy and temporarily convenient way out.
There's a huge price to pay for not going for our dreams. The price is our life and our dreams fulfilled! Not to mention our happiness, our relationships, our vitality and our creativity. Deep down inside we know what we love to do. There are a hundred ways from Sunday to express that into the world. So lets get with the program of our lives and create it! Here's a few pointers on how to make that happen.
Know what you love to do... and start doing it right now! Your mind and thoughts have to be in alignment with the passion of your heart. This will pre-dispose you to right action and catapult you into your success! Start your business, grow your business, get a new job, start that book, paint the picture, just get out there and express yourself passionately, and when you do, watch out! That's when life lights up, gets exciting and full of energy and vitality!
Once you've taken action you must be persistent! This is where most of us fall off track, when things get a little difficult, or unclear or not so secure we lay down the dream, fold on our truth and buckle under the illusions of the outside world. We either think it's going to be dreamy like Hollywood or that it's unobtainable like speaking to people all over the world at any time! (hello the Internet)
Know this... Nobody can impact you unless you let them. Nothing can impact you unless you let it. Therefore nobody and nothing has any power over you. You have power over you...that's it! To think anything else is an excuse, an illusion, or a justification to play small in the matter of your goals and dreams. You are powerful beyond words and you have the energy, insight and vision to know exactly how to navigate through your life so that it works for you!
You will have hardships, you will have challenges and you will have setbacks. You would have all of that even if you didn't pursue the dream - even more so! So there's challenges... So what! It's part of life! After all this is the "learning planet" and all those setbacks become our greatest teachers. If you could just step back and look at it like a great big game of hockey or a game of tennis - we could simply say, "ok what's my next move?" Turn adversity into opportunity and you've got a winning play for any successful outcome!
There will be moments when you will want to quit. Don't ever quit! Going back to your old life may look more attractive in the midst of challenges but the reality of that is, you can never go back to the way it was. You are on the learning planet remember. If you weren't meant to be learning and growing and building right would be on the "been there got the T-shirt planet"! Isn't it inspiring to know that we all get the privilege of learning on this planet and when we do, it's interesting, exciting and inspiring! Know that the harder you work, the luckier you will get. What ever you focus on expands. The more you focus on what you want, the more of what you want, will show up. Stop focusing on what isn't and keep your eye on what's possible. Focus on the good, focus on the abundance, focus on being grateful, focus on your vision and goals!
World leader in success principles, Jack Canfield says this, "Adversity and discouragement is inevitable. No matter how well you plan and how well you execute your plan, you are bound to meet with disappointments, adversity and failure along the way to your ultimate triumph. Sometimes, you'll encounter what seem like overwhelming odds. And sometimes, the Universe will test your commitment to the goal you're pursuing. The going may be hard, and may require you to refuse to give up while you learn new lessons, develop new parts of yourself, and make difficult decisions. And, adversity is what gives you the opportunity to develop your inner resources of character and courage. Adversity is a great teacher. It will test you and make you stronger. But you have to hang in there and not give up!" More than 4000 years ago in China, Confucius wrote: "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
This is the journey of the pursuit of your dreams. Jump over obstacles, move through fears and catapult into action and right results. Be a designer of solutions. Focus on the extraordinary and what has not been possible - up until you came along!
You are a very very powerful human being. And as I see you as this, so shall you be. Everyone around you is powerful, see them as this, and so shall they be! The way you observe your world, creates your world. That's just how powerful we are as human beings! Now that's amazing!


SK Kuak Hulu,Pengkalan Hulu II

ini lah banner yang Sekolah tu Buat Khas utk kehadiran aku.. hehehe
Minggu Pendidikan Pencegahan Dadah

ini antara murid2 perempuan yang sweet sgt.. Ahaks!

ini antara Murid2 Sekolah yang kusyuk dengar ceramah aku.. hehehe

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

SK Kuak Hulu,Pengkalan Hulu

hari ini pagi2 lagi aku dah kene pegi jauh.. hari ni aku kene wat speech pada budak2 sekolah rendah.. sebenarnye aku x berapa pandai sgt buat speech utk budak sekolah rendah nk pulak sekolah yang terletak di pedalaman mcm sekolah ni Sekolah Kebangsaan Kuak Hulu, Pengkalan Hulu. dengar namanya pun dah tau mesti jauh gile sbb nama pun dah mencermin kan tempat tu.. HULU.. xde niat nk kutuk pun cume nk bayangkan betapa jauh nya sekolah tu dgn mentaliti budak2 sekolah rendah yg tdk ade langsung pendedahan luar. sekolah ni terletak lebih kurang 6KM dr sempadan Malaysia dan Thailand..
setibanya aku kat sana aku di rai oleh para Pendidik yang tdk pernah jemu memajukan dan memberi ilmu pada Rakyat Malaysia..
Aku g x drive sendiri jauh sgt lagipun aku xtau sekolah tu kat mane.. aku pegi ngn driver dan seorang pengawal keselamatan. Koperal Zainudin.. atau lebih dikenali dgn nama Zack.. Nk Glamor la tu.. huhuhuhu..
aku ni sebenarnya sayang sgt pada kanak2.. tp xpandai nk tunjuk..
mula start speech ok la skit.. setiap perkataan yg keluar dr mulut aku terpakse rendah kan standard kpd standardyg blh dorg paham.. aku cuba sedaya upaya utk memberi serba sedikit input tentang bahaya dadah.. Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar..
bayangkan budak2 sekolah semua skali lebih kurang 300-400 org... aduh ramai sgt.. klu dlm kelas paling tinggi pun 40 org tu pun ya ampun cikgu sorg pun kena buli,.. sian kat cikgu.. teringat lak zaman aku sekolah dulu... mcm mane p[erasaan cikgu2 aku bile teguran dan nasihat x diendahkan.. Maafkan aku cikgu.. tp kini anak didikmu telah berjaya menjadi seoarng yang berguna pada masyarakat.. ku pasti jika kau tahu engkau akan berbangga dengan anak didikmu yang satu ini.. ewah.. sedih la pulak.. ahaks!

kat atas tu ade la beberapa contoh gambar dadah dan peralatan yang di gunakan di dalam penyalahgunaan dadah..



In spiritual work there is a principle that we are totally responsible. That is we are the cause and the effect of everything. This principle is true but often or nearly always misunderstood. The confusion lies between different levels. I will refer to two of them: the Ultimate and the Conventional (for the sake of simplicity). For example, at an Ultimate level, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me and to everyone else. At a Conventional level, this is ridiculous. Yet even at a conventional level, we often feel better when we accept personal responsibility and take not of what we have done that might have caused the incident.
On other occasions, we sometimes feel better when we are told that things are not our fault. This is often true early on in our upset. But the truth is that if we deny our responsibility we weaken ourselves and reduce our enjoyment and pleasure in life. There are grave dangers in the principle of total responsibility when it applied to Conventional life. It could lead us to believe that we are guilty but no one else is. This also invalidates the other person or the other people.
If I claim total responsibility for the holocaust, then I invalidate people like Hitler who have more right to be the cause of it! At a social level, it is important to apportion blame and responsibility to malefactors and to seek to stop them doing bad things. Enough of silly wild examples! But please note how this relates to responsibility. At a conventional level, it might be true to say that we might not be responsible for what others do, but we are responsible for our reactions and responses to what happens to us.
We are responsible for feeling bad, mad, sad, or however. We are also responsible for feeling good too! One of the greatest affirmations is: 'I am responsible for ...' and you can finish it with whatever you like. Such as 'my life'. Sometimes it is better to be more specific and say 'my job', or 'what happened yesterday'. Note we are not responsible for what others or things do. But we are unquestionably responsible for our reactions to these things. Also responsibility does not mean blame. Responsibility also means that it is up to us, and no other people or things, to do something about our situation. This means we deal with our feelings or we do things that make things more in keeping with our goals. A victim mentality is one where we wait for the cavalry to rescue us (and they never do). Or if they do, it only proves how weak and helpless we are.
The teaching on responsibility can be misused to make people feel, strangely not-responsible. It can be used to make people feel bad. Sometimes we figure and figure to try to work out how we could be responsible. And often, Conventionally, we aren't responsible for more than our feelings and our actions. Because bad things happen doesn't mean we are bad people. Bad things do happen to good people. It means, Conventionally, that we have opportunities to improve our understanding. It doesn't, of course, help to tell someone this at the time of intense upset. It sometimes helps to be reminded of the Conventional truth that they are not to blame. It is not their fault.
Yet even in Conventional life we have at some time to reclaim our responsibility and be the cause of our lives. "When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone"


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How Much It Hurts

Speak, speak your mind
Your always telling me I need to open mine
And wait, wait your turn
Then shut me out cause you've got nothing left to learn

Oh, you say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So tell me what you love and say it loud
Now here's the dose that you've been dishing out
If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts

Oh, I'm wrong
I'm wrong again
But not because of where I stand but where I've been
And it burns
Oh, you know it burns like hell
To know there's nothing I can do but wish you well

You say there's nothing wrong with being proud
So tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been good enough to stay and hear you out
But you're wrong
You're never wrong

Oh, you say there's nothing wrong with being proud
Ya, so tell me what you love and say it loud
I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt

If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts
If you're listening this is how much it hurts

Monday, June 9, 2008

kenapa Perlu Berpura-pura?

ade sesuatu yang mengusik hati ini, dah lame aku fikirkan tapi malam ni aku rase mcm gunung berapi yang hampir meletus. kesabaran manusia ada tahapnya tak kan selamanya boleh bertahan kerana manusia zaman sekarang tak ade yang mempunyai mukjizat seperti zaman Nabi. tiada seorang pun  manusia hari ini yang boleh bersabar dengan perkara yang di tanggung berulang kali!!
kenapa ade orang yang suka berpura-pura? sedangkan hakikat depan mata?! kenapa tak fikirkan perasaan orang lain? paling tidak perasaan orang yang amat jelas dan tulus menyayanginya dengan sepenuh hati tanpa perlu di ragu?!


My First day

hurmmm.. penatnya arini. pagi-pagi lagi da kene travel jauh sebab ade meeting arini kat taiping, perjalanan amik mase lebih kurang 1jam 45minit, nasib baik driver yang amik kat umah xde la letih sgt.. :P
arini firstday aku wat blog, sebenarnya xtau sgt nk tulis ape kat sini, ni semua galakan dr kwn aku si Alex, Mr Alex, awak jgn kutuk blog saya ok.. huhuhu
dr umah aku g taiping driver dtg amik pukul 7.00am sampai kat taiping lebih kurang pukul 9.00am, semua ahli yg terlibat ngn meetinng da smpai cume aku je yg lewat skit, tp xpe dorg faham sebb daerah aku yang paling jauh, meeting ni sebenarnya rancangan untuk mengadakan Kem PINTAR bg budak2 sekolah rendah target untuk pelajar darjah 5. Kem tu di rancang berjalan pada 16-18 jun 2008 mg dpn la.. tp ni meeting yg kedua untuk mendapat kat 'final decision' melantik AJK2 yg sepatutnya..
Akhirnya aku ditugaskan memberi ceramah utk pelajar2 ni yang berkaitan ngn penyalahgunaan dadah, aku terima 2 tugasan, yang pertama td kene bg speech yg kedua lak aku kene jadi pengacara majlis untuk acara penutup yang akan di adadakan dengan penuh gilang gemilang, almaklumlah ini adalah tahun akhir Program untuk pelajar sekolah.
Aku bukannya tak nak jadi Pengacara Majlis cuma nk bagi ruang pada orang yg baru berkhidmat tapi nk buat macam mana klu dah sebulat suara ahli majlis nak kan aku jadi Pengacara Majlis pada hari penutupan Kem nnti, Insyallah aku akan buat yang terbaik demi menjaga reputasi aku sebagai seorang pegawai yang Berkaliber... Ahaks!
nampaknye aku kene la prepare slot2 ceramah yang aku nk bg nnti. mase yang d peruntukan 2jam, hmm,.. xkan aku nk gune slot yang lame, xpe demi untuk membanteras dadah aku akan memerah otak untuk membuat yang terbaik, Insyallah.
Pada Ahli Majlis terima kasih kerana memberi kepercayaan kepada aku untuk meng'oganize'kan Kem PINTAR 2008 peringkat Zon Utara Negeri Perak. aku akan lakukan yang terbaik. wah semangat la pulak. huhuhuhu...

habis meeting je tadi ade jamuan makan tengahari. habos makan je aku pun terus ajak driver balik pejabat. sepanjang perjalanan aku tido. letih sgt kot. hehehe.
sampai je aku minta driver hantar kat rumah sebab aku lum solat lagipun nk mandi dulu sebab badan dah rasa melekit. Sampai kat umah lebih kurang pukul 3.00pm. rehat kejap pastu mandi dan solat. selesai solat aku terus bersiap nk masuk pejabat balik.
masuk pejabat terus aku bincang dengan staff yang lain tentang Kem PINTAR tu. tak ade ape yang aku nk risaukan sangat staff kat sini semuanya 'talented n commited'. senang keje. hehehe
berbangga aku ade staff mcm ni..

esok satu hari lagi akan aku tempoh dalam mencari kebahagian yang hakiki.
hati selalu berbisik sampai bile aku akan macam ni.. dan hanya hati yang mempunyai jawapannya tapi xdapat diluahkan dengan kata-kata.

Ya Allah tenangkan hati hambamu ini,
Berikan lah kebahagiaan yang diimpikan..
hanya padaMu ku bermohon dan bersyukur.